Time and Space

Time is not sacred. 
They say Time is money. 
But money is not sacred.
Time has no real value to me. 
Not like Space.
Space is different.
Space is precious. 
Space is sacred. 
I pick and choose who and what I make Space for.
I picked you.
I chose you.
I decided to make Space for you.
I held back no part of me.
You saw it all.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
The past, the present, the future.
The attractive, the absurd, the insecure.
You took it all.
You kept taking it.
And I kept giving because to me, giving is loving.
But after a while,
I had nothing left to give you
Because you never loved me in the way I deserved.
You gave me Time.
You made Time for me.
I mistook Time for Space.
I took whatever I could get from you
Because I was so wrapped up in you.
You held back from me.
I only saw what you wanted me to.
And no matter how many times I tried,
You would not let me see it all. 
Maybe he just doesn’t have as much Space to give as you do.
Maybe he speaks a different love language.
Maybe he really is trying the best he can.
Maybe you should stick it out just a little longer.
Maybe you should just give him Time.
Maybe this is what people mean when they say a relationship is work.
I tried being patient.
I tried kicking.
I tried screaming.
I tried begging.
I tried manipulating.
I tried guilting.
I tried blowing it all up.
I tried loving.
I loved you so hard.
By the end,
I had become someone that was so lost.
I was so lost in you.
I was killing myself trying to breathe life into something that was already dead.
I was so afraid that without us, I would have nothing.
I was terrified of the empty Space that you would leave behind.
And it was terrifying.
But only for a moment.
Now, here I am.
I am taking back my Space.

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