Slow Down

I’ve always had trouble slowing down.
I think it’s because I’m afraid of not having enough time.

I’ve been hearing a lot about this “culture of scarcity”.

Time is a non-renewable resources.
You can’t recycle or reuse it.
Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Attention is the same.
For most of my life, I have operated under this idea that multi-tasking was my ticket to success.
If I could do a lot of things really well, then I’d be successful.
So, I did a lot of things and depending who you ask, I did them well.
And where did it get me?

I burnt out.
I threw myself out of balance.
I was moving too fast and
I crashed.

Now what?

I’ve been sick for the last few days.
I thought I was doing everything necessary to get better.
But in reality-
I was continuing to operate the same way I normally do.
I went out socially.
I tell myself tequila cures colds.
I went to the gym.
I thought it would be good to sweat it out.

I woke up this morning and couldn’t breathe out of my nose,
which I took as a sign that I really needed to try something different.
So, I’ve decided that today I am going to slow it down.
Not sure how that’s going to look.
I can guarantee that I will be bored.
I will feel like I should be doing something “productive”.
But I’m going to force myself to be uncomfortably slow
and uncomfortably “unproductive”.

And I’m realizing that when people tell me to slow down it’s not a bad thing.
When I’m blazing through life, I miss things.
I miss the details, the simple joys, the small clues.
I don’t know what’s coming next in my life
but I know I need to slow down to move forward.
All the runners/bussers at my restaurants used to tell me
“Soave, chiquita”.
There is more wisdom in that than I realized.

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