This show

This show is great.
It makes me think
and in another life,
I’d send you a message.
A read receipt would give you away
and bring back a small thrill.
Away we’d go.
Wherever you decided
because whatever friendship we had was built around you.
Your convenience.
You said you we’re friends
but reached for intimacy that is not friends.
And I stupidly gave it to you.
Tell me I’m wrong.
What are you afraid of?
Caring about someone?
Admitting that you don’t care about someone?
Acknowledging that someone means something?
Being seen by someone?
I miss your attention.
I miss those read receipts.
Small proof that
even just for a second
I had your attention.
And until you send a response,
I know you’re thinking about it.
About me.
Yea. I miss that.
So I’m watching this show
and I have these impulses
grabbing bits of my attention.
I’m getting better at letting them go
but they find their way here
to a blank page.
It’s easy.
What made you think I’d like this show?
What does that say?
What are your thoughts?
Do I remind you of her?
This amazing character.
Too smart for her own good.
Too stubborn for most men.
Is that it?
And she’s Italian.
She’s beautiful.
‘She’d make my mind blur.’
That’s it.
You made my mind blur.
Another way to say you’re too much,
my (old (brilliant)) friend.

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