The streets of Chelsea

The streets of Chelsea

There’s something about
walking down the streets of Chelsea

after too much pasta
and a great bottle of wine

(one of my first-love producers)
on a clear night at the end of the summer.
It’s ending
so pay attention before it’s gone.

There’s something about
being kissed
on the streets of Chelsea
after too much thinking
and a good amount of talking
(one of my most-practiced pastimes)

on a summer night when things felt clear.
It’s ok
so let it feel good while it lasts.

To give pause

To give pause

Definition of give (someone) pause:

to cause (someone) to stop and think about something carefully or to have doubts about something

He gives me pause.
When I ask if he’s good.
If what we’re doing is good.
I don’t know.
Yes, I do.
I thought this was different.
It’s not fair.
I have all the information I need.

Nothing.

What are you thinking?
I always asked and
I usually was not satisfied
with the response.
Nothing.
What do you mean nothing.
You don’t have a single thought.
I don’t believe you.
I could tell something was off.
There is something you’re not sharing.
What are you thinking?
What is going on?
What are you feeling?
Where are you because you’re not here.
Sometimes you said what I wanted to hear.
The ‘right’ thing.
I want real over right.
Were you so afraid to hurt me
that you couldn’t answer honestly.
Because ‘nothing’ says something to me.
It’s a lack.

What feels right.

What feels right.

I’ve been saying it for a few weeks now.
Something is off.
I’m asking questions.
Big picture questions.
I’m gathering information.
Weighing my options.
Asking myself.
Trusting myself.
Questioning myself.
Challenging myself.
What is the feeling.
It’s the break-up jeans feeling.
It’s being your best

even when it’s not fair.
It’s standing up
when you want to lie down.
Maybe easy is wrong.
I know growth is hard.
But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s right.
Trust the feeling.
I know what feels right.

Hail Mary

Help me know my worth.
To define it.
To make it so clear
it’s undeniable.
Indisputable.
You can change a life.
You can rewrite a story.
Just write a different story.
Pay attention.
Be careful.