It doesn’t matter.

How will I know?How have I known in the past?Well, does it really even mattersince every time I thought I knewI was wrong?It's weird.She said she wouldn't have told me unless it was serious.What does it do to me?What does just the thought of you do to me?It doesn't matter.

The streets of Chelsea

The streets of Chelsea

There's something about walking down the streets of Chelseaafter too much pastaand a great bottle of wine(one of my first-love producers)on a clear night at the end of the summer.It's endingso pay attention before it's gone. There's something aboutbeing kissed on the streets of Chelseaafter too much thinkingand a good amount of talking(one of my [...]

To give pause

To give pause

Definition of give (someone) pause: to cause (someone) to stop and think about something carefully or to have doubts about something He gives me pause. When I ask if he's good.If what we're doing is good.I don't know.Yes, I do.I thought this was different.It's not fair.I have all the information I need.

Nothing.

What are you thinking? I always asked and I usually was not satisfied with the response. Nothing. What do you mean nothing. You don't have a single thought. I don't believe you. I could tell something was off. There is something you're not sharing.What are you thinking? What is going on? What are you feeling? [...]

What feels right.

What feels right.

I've been saying it for a few weeks now. Something is off.I'm asking questions.Big picture questions.I'm gathering information.Weighing my options.Asking myself.Trusting myself.Questioning myself.Challenging myself.What is the feeling.It's the break-up jeans feeling.It's being your besteven when it's not fair.It's standing upwhen you want to lie down.Maybe easy is wrong.I know growth is hard.But just because it's [...]

Hail Mary

Help me know my worth.To define it. To make it so clear it's undeniable.Indisputable.You can change a life.You can rewrite a story.Just write a different story.Pay attention.Be careful.

Pulling out chairs.

Pulling out chairs.

He listens to the things I say.He hears the things I don't say.He's a nice guy.That's never been a question.Keep it simple.It can be whatever it needs to be. He asked if I wanted him to pull out my chair.I thought about itbecause sometimes it's nice.I pulled out my own chair.