I had just gotten off the train and was walking home. I was listening to a podcast shocking about relationships shocking again when I walked past someone who I thought looked familiar. I did a double take because I wasn’t sure and low and behold, it was him. We hadn’t seen each other since everything fell apart but we had texted a little bit on New Year’s Eve. It’s amazing how put together my response was all things considered. He’s leaving the city in a couple weeks and we agreed we’d get lunch before. I walked right up to him and ducked so my face was in the same line of vision as his phone screen. He was surprised in a good way and it made me feel really good to see him smile.
We started walking together and he asked me how things were going and I realized I didn’t have much to report. My life looks a lot like it did when we were seeing each other regularly. How can I still be in the same place as I was a year ago? That can’t be true. Maybe on the outside things look the same same apartment, same job, same relationships status but on the inside, I think things are different. I hope things are different. Things have to be different. Of course things are different. Look closer.