I blocked the number last night. As I was walking home.In a moment of divine inspiration.It still feels awfulbut maybe a little less. I'm turning it off. Shutting it down.Stepping away.Denying.Deleting.Blocking.I'm eliminating the option. I haven't stopped hoping I'll hear from him. It's not for forever.But just for now.I'm stepping away.
I hate this weather.Cold.Grey.I can't wait to move to Hawaii.I'm saying it out loud now.I'm moving to Hawaii.I'd be lying if I said I'm not sad.Fuck.I'm sad.It's fine.I'm also really happy too.I can still have that.That feeling.That glow.I can still surrender to that.I pull out a memoryor play a sweet song, the kind that makes [...]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I spent too much money last night.Why are cars so expensive?I had so much fun last night.It was easier than I thought.I just deleted the number.Genius.Why didn't I think of that before?So now there's no way.Unless I go back to the messages on my computer.Which I did.But I see more wisdom in the distance.Give it [...]
You said you wouldn't do it.Don't do it.You know it's no good.It's a quick fix.Don't do it.Focus on something else.Find something else.Someone else.You can do whatever you want.But not that. Stop re-reading.Delete the thread.Stop re-playing.Do. Not. Send. That. Text.Put it down.The thought.The phone.Don't do it.Please. Don't.Exercise some fucking self control.It's not going to kill you.Sometimes [...]