My turn.

My turn.

I blocked the number last night. As I was walking home.In a moment of divine inspiration.It still feels awfulbut maybe a little less. I'm turning it off. Shutting it down.Stepping away.Denying.Deleting.Blocking.I'm eliminating the option. I haven't stopped hoping I'll hear from him. It's not for forever.But just for now.I'm stepping away.

I miss the stars.

I miss the stars.

I know we're not friends.But I wonder what you'd say.I'm not going to do it.But it's a fun thought. What's the weather like on your side of the world?In a place where it's warm and the sun shines.Where you can see the stars.I miss the stars. I was on the Upper East Side last night.This [...]

I can still have that.

I hate this weather.Cold.Grey.I can't wait to move to Hawaii.I'm saying it out loud now.I'm moving to Hawaii.I'd be lying if I said I'm not sad.Fuck.I'm sad.It's fine.I'm also really happy too.I can still have that.That feeling.That glow.I can still surrender to that.I pull out a memoryor play a sweet song, the kind that makes [...]

The ground

The ground

Circling the ground. I know it's going to end. I know this can't last. Hitting the ground. It's over. It's starting. Picking myself up off the ground. Here we go again. I have to find a new way. What happens if I keep my feet on the ground?

Distractions.

I spent too much money last night.Why are cars so expensive?I had so much fun last night.It was easier than I thought.I just deleted the number.Genius.Why didn't I think of that before?So now there's no way.Unless I go back to the messages on my computer.Which I did.But I see more wisdom in the distance.Give it [...]

Don’t do it.

You said you wouldn't do it.Don't do it.You know it's no good.It's a quick fix.Don't do it.Focus on something else.Find something else.Someone else.You can do whatever you want.But not that. Stop re-reading.Delete the thread.Stop re-playing.Do. Not. Send. That. Text.Put it down.The thought.The phone.Don't do it.Please. Don't.Exercise some fucking self control.It's not going to kill you.Sometimes [...]