Social media.

I hate social media and its nuances. I hate that I’ve been noticing your name more these last few days. I hate that I look for it. I hate that I get a small amount of satisfaction every time it’s there. I hate that I want your attention. It brings me a moment of joy and then the sadness comes so I’m cutting that off now.

I made my profile private. I want control over who can see my stuff. And now you won’t. I wonder if you’ll even notice. I wonder how you’ll feel. I wonder if you’ll say anything. I hate that I wonder.

I wanted to text you tonight. But I didn’t because I’m realizing that at the end of the day, no one can make this better for me. It sucks. It just sucks. The best thing I can do is take care of myself and go on.

So, no more of my social media for you. You don’t get to see what I’m up to. You’ll just have to wonder. The worst part is that deep down I hope you notice. I hope you miss me. I hope you read this. I hope we find a way to connect again some day.

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