I wasn’t ready

I wasn’t ready but it happened anyway. Isn’t that how it always goes? I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t know I’d already had my last day. You knew I was having a hard time. The work wasn’t satisfying me anymore. Something was off inside me. I was trying and failing. Not like me. But you were there holding up a mirror forcing me to see myself. I was learning so much from you.

I wasn’t ready when it happened. I knew it was going to end but not like this. So suddenly. I guess you tried to warn me. I understood what I was hearing and I couldn’t be mad because I knew there was no choice. More than anything, I’m sad.

I wasn’t ready to make a decision but then a decision was made for me and I knew it was time to go. I wasn’t ready but as soon as I hit the road, I felt relief. I wasn’t ready but as soon as I saw the mountains, I felt calm.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready because how am I supposed to know what to be ready for? The worst? The best? The unexpected? How about a pandemic?

I definitely wasn’t ready for that.

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