If I saw you now

I wonder what it would be like if I saw you now. I wonder how it would feel to see your face. The thought isn't unpleasant.Does attraction ever completely fade?Depends. I don't think it would be like it was but I think it would be there to some degree. How can it not? I think [...]

Writing a feeling

I'm sitting cross-legged on the living room floor. The sliding glass door is cracked open and the air blowing in is chilly but the sunlight pouring in is warm. It's so windy I can hear the trees rustling even though I turned up the volume on the stereo. I'm dropping-in to my childhood with this [...]

Sit.

Don't run.Stay.Don't leave.Listen.Don't ignore.Sit.In it.With it.For as long as it takes.Deal with it.Don't push it away.Feel the discomfort.The reckoning.Don't numb.Feel where it hurts.Don't rushand don't dwell.Breathe.Slow down.The only way out is through.There's no avoiding it.Sit.Still.Silently.Stop rationalizing.See the truth.It hurts.The truth hurts.So what.Sit down.

I don’t have to

I don’t have to

I don't have to if I don't want to and it's ok that I'm not going to. It feels like a chore.It wouldn't be sincereso what's the point? Am I really obligated? I don't think so. I don't have to and I don't need to so I'm not going to. People may not agree. People [...]

A tolerance

I wonder if they're just tolerating me.I wonder if they've developed a tolerance to me.Why am I thinking about this.It's weird to think about.What do they see when they look at me?What are the thoughts that cross their mindwhen they read my words?I'd rather be hated than tolerated.Maybe I just need a better tolerance.