City-girl

I walked up a mountain this morning at the ass-crack of dawn. It was still dark when I started and I could see the stars and the moon. It was as poetic as could be except for the large groups of people yick-yacking away, disturbing the early mountain-morning soundscape. But eventually I put enough distance between me and anyone else. I love being alone. The only thing I want to hear is nature and the sound of my lungs gasping for air. I climbed higher and higher as the sun rose. It was magical the way the color glowed against the mountains in the distance, the way the light spilled out from behind the clouds in bright bands, the way it shone down on the earth. Such a beautiful earth. To look out and down on so much earth, so much world, so much space, takes your breath away.

It’s been 4 months since I left the city and I don’t think there’s much city-girl left. I’ve been shedding that life pretty aggressively. I dropped pieces of it as soon as I drove across the border of New Jersey. I abandoned parts of it on the side of the road somewhere in Kansas. I cleared out remnants of it to make space for something else. I’m moving further away from what was. I’m re-arranging the furniture. I’m finding a whole new way in a whole new place. So much is easier out here even though it’s harder to breathe out here. I’m more at ease than I’ve been in a long time. I’m challenging myself more than I have in a long time. Stepping out of my city-girl life was the best choice I’ve made in a long time.

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